The Lights by Michelle Baillargeon

Author:Michelle Baillargeon [Baillargeon, Michelle]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2019-07-07T22:00:00+00:00

Chapter Thirty-Four

Tuesday - May 20, ’75

There are always nurses at me for one thing or another. Checking my temperature, changing the IV and bandages. I’m not sure how they expect you to get any rest around here with all of that going on. I haven’t mentioned my other injury yet, have I? I’ve been trying to ignore it. It’s not easy to do.

When the police told me about the attack on the beach, they were very careful with me about the details. They mainly wanted to know if I could identify anyone. As soon as they heard about my amnesia, they left with disappointed looks on their faces. Yeah. I know how you feel, fellas.

When the doctors told me about my condition, I was listening but I didn’t hear them. My head was a mess, full of all this new information and no real way to process it all. I guess I’ll be sorting through it all for a while.

Today the nurse came to change the dressing and, as usual, I turned away. I usually try to pick something outdoors to look at and focus on. I don’t usually turn my attention back until they’re done. They have a soft touch, for the most part, and it’s not as uncomfortable as it could be, I suppose. I just haven’t wanted to know the details, to know how bad it is (was), or what it looks like. Playing ostrich never helped anyone, and Granna didn’t raise me to run away from my problems, but I’m going to have to sneak up on this one. I hope she’d understand.

If I just get it down on paper, name it, so to speak, maybe that will be a good first step. Baby steps. If I can acknowledge it, that’s half the battle, right? I’ll look at it later. Maybe.

Combining what I remember from the police and the doctors, I can put together a Reader’s Digest version of what I think happened to me. That’s all I have to go on, my memory will not help me in this case.

I was on the beach with a friend. He was killed in the attack, his jugular vein had been cut and he bled out very quickly. He still had money on him, so it didn’t seem like robbery to the police. They think I heard it happen and ran to him, which is when they think I was injured. I was stabbed in my lower abdomen and lost consciousness. Eventually, we were found by a passerby and they went for help.

At the hospital, the emergency room doctors discovered a deep cut to my uterus. The bleeding couldn’t be stopped and I was sent to surgery. They performed an emergency hysterectomy and I came out of surgery in a coma that lasted several days. I also ended up with a pretty good sized scar, and zero chance for children. I don’t know that I necessarily wanted children, but I hate like Hell that the choice has been taken away from me.

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